Teal Lady Bug
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handjob:

"everybody put your hands in the air!" yells the robber at the night club. the clubbers think he is the DJ and keep dancing. maybe he should have picked a different location

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kawaiigod:

if i get rich my mom gettin paid first thing

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precumming:

the only people who tell me im cute are old ladies

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I really hate when I put food in the microwave and it starts popping and making explosive noises so I check it and it’s freezing cold like why you gotta play me like that

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spoken-not-written:

THE CUTEST THING IS WHEN SOMEONE CAN’T STOP SMILING LIKE THEY SMILE THEN THEY TRY TO NOT SMILE THEN THEY END UP SMILING MORE AND THEIR CHEEKS GO ALL CUTE AND SAPOIDSP[DOSADPSA[]PS[]DSAPD[]SAP

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lanashiftdelrey:

when one of your best friends is sad but they won’t talk to you about it

image

image

image

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svveden:

*puts on lifejacket* i am ready for intercourse

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hoekage:

the main thing i look forward to in life is raising dogs w/ someone i love

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mormondad:

getting a boner before marriage is a sin

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